Ramblings Of The Farmers Wife!

Today I am sharing what I have learned about honoring marital vows with complete fidelity.

An affair or infidelity is not just sex outside of marriage there are four general types of infidelity:

• Fantasy
• Visual
• Romantic
• Sexual

Fantasy infidelity is having an emotional affair with someone anonymous (person in a chat room) or not likely to be encountered in person (such as a celebrity). What it may start out as a little crush on Matthew McConaughey can end up being more. When we imagine our life with another person other than a spouse it is a form of infidelity. It can take place entirely within your imagination or be done through emails, chat rooms, or social networking sites. How about getting the friend request from your high school sweetheart? Definitely should not be pursued. When you are putting your time and energy into being with someone online, you take it away from what you should have been putting into your marriage. 

 Visual infidelity is one of the most common types of infidelity. An example of this infidelity would be pornography, and it is something that both men and women may struggle with. Pornography is easy to access and can cost nothing. It is something that can be accessed 24/7, and it ruins lives. It is an ongoing addiction that you can work to control but have to be diligent about staying clear of the triggers that make you want to look at it. Technology is an excellent tool and can do so much good, but it does have its downside, and pornography is one of them. Pornography will take control of your life. It will distract you from what is important. There are several resources available for anyone dealing with this addiction and their loved ones. I encourage anyone who is dealing with this to reach out and get help so that you can get your life back.

 Romantic infidelity is becoming emotionally involved with someone besides your spouse. It is usually the result of trying to escape the life you have. It seems like the perfect way to run from your responsibilities you share with your spouse, but it is not. You will continuously be trying to escape because your responsibilities will always be there. It may seem like it would be romantic and spontaneous, but it will be one more thing you will have to add to your responsibilities list. You will always be looking over your shoulder, hoping that nobody will see you or find out. You could have a romantic experience with your spouse if you put the time and effort into where it should be.

 Sexual infidelity is when you engage in sexual acts with someone other than your spouse. Veon Smith, a professor and marriage counselor, warned, "Infidelity is a subtle process. It does not begin with adultery; it begins with thoughts and attitudes." What could start as visual can quickly evolve into more, leading to sexual infidelity. 

 Infidelity is the leading cause of divorce. It breaks apart families and impacts the spouse's view of themselves.

 What can we do to prevent infidelity in our lives?

As a couple, establish boundaries, be loyal to one another, control your thoughts, and put your spouse first. Don't share personal marital issues with others. Resolve them with your spouse. When we put our spouse first, we are following the Lord's teachings. In the scriptures, we read, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else." (D&C 42:22) This scripture works both ways wives should love their husbands with all their heart and no one else.

 What happens if infidelity has already happened in your marriage and you want to repair the marriage?

First, you have to be accountable for your actions. You need to be honest with your spouse.  Establish boundaries of how often and what aspects of the infidelity will be discussed. NO MORE SECRETS!